英文笑话3则(有译文)

Always Share!

An old couple went into a restaurant and ordered something to
eat:one Coca Cola and one portion of French fries. The old man
sat down and the woman, his wife, sat opposite him, and he
began to divide the Coca Cola into two glasses, half for him and
half for his wife. He divided all the French fries half-and-half. He
gave half to his wife and kept half for himself. Then he began to
eat and drink,and the woman just drank but didn't eat.
There was a young man who was standing next to the table and
wondering why the old man had divided everything in half, and
he thought that maybe they didn't have any money. He said to
the old couple, "Okay, I can buy you one more portion; you
don't have to share like that." So the old man explained, "No,
no, no, we have been married for forty years and we always
share everything. Whatever we have, we share half and half.
Don't worry, but thank you, anyhow." But then after a while,
he saw that the woman wasn't eating eat, and only
the man ate, and he asked, "Why aren't you eating?" And the
wife said, "Today it's his turn to use the teeth."

分享一切

有一对老夫妇到速食店去，叫了一罐可乐和一份薯条。然后他们面对面坐下
来，那位老先生先把可乐分成两杯，一杯给他自己，另一杯给他太太。接着
他又将薯条分成两份，一份给他太太、一份给自己。然后他开始吃薯条、喝
可乐，但是他的太太只是喝可乐，不吃薯条。
一个年轻人刚好站在旁边，看到老先生把每样食物都分成两半，觉得很奇
怪，他想或许他们没有钱，便跟老夫妇说：‘我可以再买一份给你们，你们
就不用这样分了。’老先生解释说：‘不、不！我们结婚四十年了，一直都
是分享每件事物，什么东西都是一个人分一半。不用担心我们，不过还是谢
谢你的好意。’过了一会儿，他看只有老先生吃着薯条，老太太没吃，便问
老太太：‘你为什么都不吃呢？’老太太说：‘今天轮到他用牙齿。’


Take Care of Whose Future?
(Originally in English)
A patient said to his doctor, "Doc., I'm worried about my

future,"So the doctor said, "I'll give you a year's

treatment; it'll cost about $500 dollars a month. Is that

okay?" So the patient said,"But that onlytakes care of your

future, not mine."


照顾谁的未来？


病人对医生说：‘医生，我对未来感到很忧心。’医生说：

‘我们会给你一年的治疗，一个月大概五百块美金，这样

可以吗？’病人说：‘但这样只照顾到你的未来，

不是我的！

Who’s Watching Out for Whom?

A man came home from playing golf, and his
wife asked, “How was your golf game?” He
said, “I was hitting pretty well, but my
eyesight has gotten so bad that I couldn’t see
where the ball went!” So the wife said,
“You’re 75 years old, Jack! What do you
expect? Why don’t you take my brother along?”
Jack said, “But he’s 85! And he doesn’t even
play golf anymore!” And the wife said, “But he
has perfect eyesight! At least he could watch
your ball for you.”
So, the next day Jack took the brother-in-law
with him to play golf. And while the brother
looked on, Jack swung. But the ball
disappeared somewhere. So Jack asked his
brother-in-law, “Did you see it?” And the
brother answered, “Yes! I saw it, alright!”
So Jack said, “Yes? Where is it?” And the
brother answered, “Well, I... I forgot!”

无济于事
　有一个人打完高尔夫球回家后，他太太问他：

「你的高尔夫球赛打得如何？」他说：「我打

得非常好，但是我的视力变得很差，使我看不

清楚球落到哪里去了！」他太太就说：「杰克，

你都已经七十五岁了，还能指望什么？你为什

么不带我哥哥一起去呢？」杰克说：「可是他

已经八十五岁了，而且也不再打高尔夫球了。」

他太太说：「但是他的视力很好，至少可以帮你

盯着球啊！」 于是隔天杰克就带着大舅子一起去

打高尔夫球，大舅子在旁边看着他挥杆，可是球

还是不见了。他问大舅子说：「你有看到球吗？」

大舅子答：「有啊！我看得很清楚！」杰克问：

「那球在哪里呢？」他回答说：「呃…我…我忘记了！」

[ 本帖最后由 shou926 于 2007-10-5 14:34 编辑 ]